What Confucius says applies as much today as it did thousands of years ago. Currently – and, indeed, for over three years now – the news has been dominated by the doom and gloom about the collapse of capitalism and the fiscal rectitude that is required to build economic stability. The irony of it all is that many of the individuals who were responsible for the economic collapse are still in power – politically and economically – and there is no evidence to show that they ‘have put their hearts right.’ Neither is there any evidence of the owning of the huge emotional and social debts that are owed to the masses of individuals who are now saddled with major economic uncertainty for the future, due to the unprecedented level of greed, avarice, depersonalisation, secretiveness, intimidation and profit-target mentality that were the bones of economic activities.
Read moreBeauty – from the Inside Out
The confusion of a person’s physical appearance with their sexuality causes considerable pain for individuals and can seriously interrupt an intimate relationship with another. This confusion that one’s sexuality is conditional on one’s physical appearance is mirrored in certain expressed beliefs:
- ‘sexuality is only for the young and good-looking’
- ‘how would anyone want someone who looks like me with this kind of body’ (for example, small stature, small breasts, fat body, balding head)
- ‘I’m good-looking, so I’m sexy’
At The Heart of All Troubles
Many healthcare professionals have been dragged kicking and screaming to realising that what really is effective in helping individuals who are in distress is the relationship between the therapist and the person seeking help; that’s what does the work. Psychiatrists, clinical psychologists, psychoanalysts, psychotherapists have spent many years and money learning a particular approach to human misery and they are now devastated and even, ironically, disheartened by the research – established reality that what they learned is only the vehicle or means to create a relationship, which is where the real therapeutic work happens. The truth is that psychological and psychiatric practices, at root an interpersonal relationship between the professional helper and the person who is in turmoil.
Read moreChildren are Creative, not Hard-wired
Minister of State for Primary Care, Roisin Shortall, at a recent Conference on Early Childhood spoke about ‘transforming social services for mothers and infants’ in the light of overwhelming evidence that the early years in a child’s life affect the child’s later potential in emotional wellbeing, physical health, education and employment. One of the speakers at the conference, George Hoskins, an authority on crime prevention and chief executive of Wave Trust in Britain said that ‘dysfunctional children create stupendous costs.’ What was not voiced is that the financial costs pale in comparison to the emotional costs to the child’s sense of self. Another belief expressed was that children who experience neglect, abuse, emotional abandonment become ‘hard-wired’ in their responses (for example, become aggressive, withdrawn, depressed, anxious and insecure) to the neglect experienced. Similarly, it was expressed that children who receive ‘good enough parenting’ (mature and loving support and a predictable and consistent environment) become ‘hard-wired to expect security, care and love. This term ‘hard-wired’ though it appears to have a ring of science to it, is in fact meaningless. The key message voiced was that ‘the most critical aspect of the infant’s life is the relationship between baby and key carer, usually the mother.
Read moreThe Power of Stress
The word ‘stress’ is borrowed from the area of technology which considers stress as a pressure or strain. For example, some plane crashes have been known to be due to metal fatigue; too much strain and pressure on metal over too long a period of time. The latter has echoes of the Irish and other European banks undergoing ‘stress tests’ to determine their viability. Human stress also became defined as a pressure or strain and it can be physical or social or psychological or some combination of these. Physical stress can arise from cold, long-standing, lifting heavy objects, breathing in toxic fumes, loud noises and so on. Examples of social stress are living next door to the ‘neighbour from hell’, violent and verbally aggressive partner, work-place bullying, excessive demands from others and co-dependence. Psychological strain arises from such factors as hating oneself, comparing oneself with others, addiction to what others think, lack of confidence, shyness, passivity – to mention just a few.
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